MARY KUEHN ANSWERS
When and where
were you born?
Mary was
born in Redwood Falls, MN on January 27, 1947
Marlin was born
in Echo, MN on September 19, 1943
Is there a reason
for the first and middle name you have?
I was named after
my maternal grandma Mary Neuman and my mother Ann Trandahl
Not sure where
Marlin came from but there are 8 kids in the family and 7 start with the letter
"M"
Are there any
stories you know about your birth or when you were a baby that you can share?
Well, the story
goes that I was born during a blizzard and that when my dad came to pick mom
and I up at the hospital, they had to put me in a suitcase to keep me warm, as
there was a very poor heater in the car. I have never been able to get
the real scoop, but if it's true, I can understand why I am
claustrophobic! Lol
I was born into a
family with 6 other children, 4 sisters, Marilyn, Joann, Yvonne and Patricia
and 2 brothers, Arden and Edward. One would assume that with 8 people
being around to take care of me, that I would be quite sheltered.
However, the opposite is true. I must have been an active child as there
were at least 2 occasions where I fell down 2 different basements... once
I went down in my stroller and hit a brick wall head on. The other was
when I was at my aunts home and they had recently moved a stairway to another
location and everyone was getting dinner prepared and after awhile they
realized that I was no where to be found. They found me laying in the
basement -- I had fallen down the area where they had removed the steps.
Then everyone wonders why I am the way I am today!!
Where did you
grow up?
I lived in
Wabasso, MN for the first 9 years of my life and attended St. Annes Catholic
school through the 3rd grade. We then moved to a farm by Granite Falls,
MN where I attended school until I was 16. When I had 3 months left of
10th grade we moved to Redwood Falls, MN where I graduated in 1965.
What kinds of
games did you play with your siblings and the other kids you were around as a
child?
We played
softball, ante I over, statues, captain May I?, we had parades with
neighborhood kids, dress up in my sisters clothes and shoes, dolls, paper
dolls, singing, put on plays, play in playhouse, play with my cat and
dog, Finance, jump rope, racing, playing in the park, playgrounds,
trike/ bike riding, etc.
What were
meaningful traditions that you remember from your childhood?
We had wonderful
holidays, mother would get out her china and we would set the table with it,
put on linens, polish the silverware. She would cook and bake up tons of
food and desserts. My brothers and sisters and their families would come
and we would have a super time. We would play cards and the kids would
run around inside and outside and just generally enjoy our time together.
Mom also made my birthdays special. One time I had a party and I picked
spaghetti for our main course and fresh home made bread, which was colored red
and green! Mother was very religious and we never went into the car to go
somewhere without praying the rosary. No matter how short the trip
was. She also had a special place in the house where we would burn old
palms and candles when a storm would come up to keep us safe. We would
celebrate Christmas in the usual traditions, but the gifts were minimal.
One present from mom and dad and a couple others from my Godparents and Grandma
Trandahl. I also got presents from a lady who saw my name in the paper
when I was born and although she did not live very far away, maybe 20 or 30
miles, I got gifts from her on my birthday and Christmas until she died.
I never met her, but we did go to her funeral.
What are memories
about your mother and father that you would like to share? Any
funny stories? Stories from when they were growing up?
My mother and father
were really great people. Their names are Joe E. Trandahl and Ann Agnes
Neuman Trandahl They had 7 kids and we ALL thought they were their
favorite. They never (this is the truth) hit us or yelled at us. I
think that we all had such respect for them that it just wasn't
necessary. Even when we messed up, their demeanor was the same.
When one of my brothers had an accident with my dad's truck (with out
permission) with 4 other boys in it, the only thing he said was "is
everyone ok?" "Let's go to the doctor with all of them to have them
checked out". They took my sister Pat and I on a trip to CA when I
was about 5. It was so much fun. My parents were very hard workers
and although we were not rich we felt like we were rich. We were,
however, one of the first families in Wabasso to have a TV! They were
special to all of the grandchildren and mother loved to bake cookies, bars,when
she visited the families homes.
What were your
grandparents like: Did you see them often? Do you remember any stories
that they shared from their childhoods?
My Grandma Mary
Neuman was a bit on the "funny" side when I was a kid. She was
married to Julius Neuman, who died when my mother Ann (the oldest child of 5)
was 10. She lived very humbly and eventually could not live alone, so my
mother and dad took her in and she lived with us for a few years while I was
growing up. She was a lot of work for my mother, as she must have had
some dementia, and could not care completely for herself. I was really
young and she was just kind of "there" so I didn't know a lot about
her. She was of Bohemian decent, so we always thought that we had a
little gypsy in us, with our skin that tanned easily and also a little ESP
going on!
My Grandma Turi
Erickson Trandahl was as Norwegion as they come! She was quite stoic and
prim. She came to visit us fairly frequently, although she never drove a
car. She was married to Edward Trandahl, my grandfather, who emigrated
from Norway. My grandpa Ed died when I was 2 years old, so my memories
of him are dim.
What was being a
teenager like when you were growing up? Did you have a job?
Date? Have a car? Curfew?
It was the
60's... one of the most progressive decades, drugs, sex and rock and
roll~! Although that was happening around me, I mostly knew about the
rock'n roll. It was the decade of Elvis, the Beatles and so many singers
too numerous to mention. It was fun, had few worries and my friends and I
had parties where we danced and listened to music and just generally had a good
time. There was not a lot of drinking, and in the little town where I
lived, drugs were not common. I had several jobs, first I was a much
sought after babysitter... for nieces and nephews (I was the youngest of 7),
and neighbors. I got paid 25 cents an hour.. whoo, hoo. One or two
summers I babysat 4 kids 5 days a week for that 25 cents/hour. Ten bucks
a week! Yikes! My other jobs were detasseling corn
& washing dishes at the Redwood Falls Golf Club. It was all hard
work, but I liked having my own money, so it was worth it to me. I dated
some, but at that time I really preferred my girlfriends and group events like
dances, movies, roller skating, etc.
No, I did not
have a car and rarely got to use the car on my own. However, my friends
did have access to cars, so we had no problem getting around and gas was 25 to
29 cents a gallon! No curfew... again, my parents didn't lay down a lot
of rules, but we just knew what was acceptable.
What was it like
during the war? Being drafted?I
My father was
never in the war, nor was he drafted. My husband Marlin enlisted in the
Army in the early 60's and served over in Germany and was there just at the
start of the Vietnam War. He was a Sgt. when he got out. He got out early
because his father died in April 1965 and he was needed to help his mother with
the home farm. It was because of this he was not sent
to Vietnam, where he probably would have went as he was a forward
observer.
How did you meet
your spouse? How long did you date before you knew you wanted to get
married. Would you be willing to
share your proposal story? What was your wedding day like?
I met Marlin
Kuehn at the DeKalb plant in Redwood Falls. We were both working there
during fall work. I started dating someone else while there (didn't like
him too much, although he liked me) so when Marlin and a couple of his friends
asked me and one of my girlfriends to go driving around, that was it for the
other guy and Marlin and I started dating regularly.... I was 18. We
dated for 3 months and then he bought me a diamond engagement ring! We
dated for 7 more months and were married on August 27, 1966 at St. Catherines
Catholic church in Redwood Falls, MN at High Noon. We had
our reception at the Redwood Falls Golf Club and neither one of us wanted the
whole dance routine, so we just kept it simple. The wedding was very nice
we each had 3 attendants and my twin nieces Lynne and Laurie Knudson were our
flower girls and Marlins nephew David Kuehn was our ring bearer. It was a
hot day in August, and I saw my dad cry for the first time... his baby was
getting married!! You'd think with having 7 kids he would have felt
relief!! haha We honeymooned in Alexandria, MN at the Viking
Hotel. Then we went to the MN State Fair and toured Wisconsin a
bit. We bought a house for $15,500 (a 3 bedroom ranch with a full
basement and a double garage) before we were married.
What were your
hopes/dreams when you started college? Did they change as time went by?
Well, I was going
to beauty school... but then decided against it. Then I met Marlin... so,
yes they changed. I became a mother at 20 and my life revolved around my
3 kids.
Did/Do you have
any heroes/mentors? How did they impact your life? Have you served
as a mentor for someone else?
My biggest
heroes/mentors are my parents. They really taught me the value of family,
religion, work ethic. They never preached but led by example. They
taught me to treat everyone as I would want to be treated. By that
example, in my various careers, but mostly in my careers in the Twin Cites as a
Director of Client Services and a Call Center Manager that was my motto as I
mentored the hundreds of employees that I was responsible for. It worked
very well for me, and really was quite a simple, yet effective approach.
I also use that discipline as a realtor.
Did you always
want to have children? The number? Did you always know you would
love your oldest the best? (just kidding)
Well, I thought
about it but not too deeply, as I really never planned on getting married so
young. But I was very happy when I was pregnant and also excited! I
did always want 3 kids... and that's what I got. It's funny you say that,
because I am sure that you know as a mom, I just don't know how I could
possibly love one more than the other.
What was
important to you when raising your children? Life lessons you wanted them
to experience? Traditions that you wanted to have in your family?
Mostly to have
them be good, honest kids. To always watch out for one another and treat
each other well, as well as their friends and other family members. Their
life lessons were traveling some, learning that money did not grow on trees,
and generally having fun together. We went on some trips, went camping,
had 2 lake homes, they went to boundary waters, trips to the cities for
weekends, picnics.... really very simple things, but huge learning
experiences. Some other traditions were preparing for holidays, baking,
cooking, cleaning (heh, heh... who says that's not a life lesson) buying gifts,
learning to budget, birthday parties, etc.
Are they or have
they been different for you grandchildren than your children?
Well, it some
ways, but not all ways. The caring about one another I see in my
grandchildren.... they are close and have each others backs. Their life
lessons are drastically different as both of my surviving children (son
Joseph died in 1990 in a motorcycle accident) are divorced and those
"tragedies" have certainly impacted my grandchildren. I feel
their lives have been disrupted and in some ways they feel kind of like
orphans. It makes me angry to know this and not be able to help them,
except to be there when we can and to always let them know how much we love
them and care for them and will always do what we can, to have them know that
we are there for them.
What has stayed
the same about you all of your life.
My undying love
for my family, my strong faith and my trust in God that I cannot control things
and I have to let HIM show me the way.
What is important
to you now that wasn't when you were younger?
Money is one
thing, material things is another.... please, I do not need any more stuff!!!
Can you talk
about a meaningful gift you received in your life?
Yes, of course,
my 3 children, my 9 grandchildren (soon to be 10 I hope ... Dan?)and my 4 great
grandchildren. I also received God's gift of being with 3 of my deceased
sisters (I had 4 & 2 brothers) during their dying process. I was
blessed to be able to be with them and tell them I loved them. It was
also meaningful to be with Joey when his heart beat it's last, It was horrible,
but I am so glad that I got to be with him.
What is the best
gift you have ever given? Just something that got a joyful response from the
receiver?
I think of the
time we gave Jaimee a life sized stuffed dog.... she just screamed and thanked
us over and over... her mom and dad would not let her have an animal, so it was
the next best thing.
What has helped
you stay hopeful in difficult times?
My faith.... I've
had it since I was a mere child... It's just there for me
Also, my family,
they have always had my back
Can you share
something that you think is important in achieving happiness?
Well, sure, be
sure to treat others well, work hard, never give up, when you fall down,
get up, and give God a try...
What has
surprised you about getting older?
That it is nice
to have peace and quiet, it's easier to say what I think and not give a rip
what anyone thinks.
It's kind of
scary about the future... I am not obsessive about having an immaculate
house... I don't care if I cook anymore.. I'm just kind of at peace about
myself and still try to improve myself.