Dahl-Swenson Family: Mary Dahl Swenson (Fulton's Grandmother)

MARY SWENSON ANSWERS

When and where were you born?

I was born July 6,1961 at Midway hospital in St Paul, MN. The same place all four of my sons were born.

Is there a reason you were given the first and middle name you have?

I was named after my mother. She is Rosemary, I am Mary Rose.

Are there any stories you know about your birth or when you were a baby that you can share?

I don’t know any specific stories.

Where did you grow up?

I grew up in St Paul. We lived in a house by Como park from the time I was four until I graduated from high school. My best friend growing up lived two houses down and then moved across the street from us.

What kinds of games did you play with your siblings and the other kids you were around as a child?

We played outside almost all the time. Lots of kickball in the street, making leaf houses, snow forts, elaborate games involving making stagecoaches out of picnic tables and blankets. We had stilts that we could all walk on easily, bikes, roller skates. We walked everywhere and we were pretty adventurous. We had a lot of freedom and had to always be listening for our moms calling us from the front porch to go home for lunch or dinner.

What were meaningful traditions that you remember from your childhood?

My mom always made a big deal out of holidays. Blown out painted easter eggs of each of us, nice birthdays, fun costumes for Halloween, valentine boxes on the mantel for us to make and put valentines for each other into. Christmas was a peak excitement holiday. I can remember sitting out in the hall outside my mom and dad’s bedroom for in to be time to wake them up so we could go downstairs and open our presents. We always opened our stockings, ate breakfast (homemade cinnamon rolls and juice) and then could finally open the pile of gifts under the tree. We went to Watertown, SD for a lot of things because that is where my dad was from and his family lived there.

What are memories about your mother and father that you would like to share? Any funny stories? Stories from when they were growing up?

When we were growing up I remember my mom as being the one who let us be creative with bringing stuff outside to make forts with and always making holidays special. We always had pets and there were lots of flowers in the garden.

I remember my dad teaching us how to walk on stilts and how to play cards. We always went to the Cross lake area for two weeks every June and we went on a lot of vacations. I remember running out of gas when we went to Yellowstone and my dad having to hitchhike to get some.

What were your grandparents like? Did you see them often? Do you remember any stories that they shared from their childhoods?

I spent most holidays in Watertown when I was growing up and remember my grandmother very well. She baked cookies for us and I especially liked the chocolate frosted ones. She told me stories about when she was growing up. She had a metal container full of buttons that I always got out, sorting and just playing with them. We used to play penny poker at the table in her kitchen with my cousins and all the adults. I don’t remember my grandpa very much, I was four when he died. I remember picking my dad up and driving really fast to Watertown when he had a heart attack.

My mom’s parents I saw more sporadically. My grandpa taught me how to play a couple different kinds of solitaire and I had some conversations with my grandmother when I was growing up and as an adult. She moved to Monticello and lived across the street from my mom and dad for the last few years of her life. We met them in Lake Tahoe once for a vacation and visited them at their house in California when I was growing up.

What was being a teenager like when you were growing up? Did you have a job? Date? Have a car? A curfew?

I worked at McDonalds and then at a drycleaning store when I was a junior and senior in high school. Only really dated one person and it was short lived we did things as a group made up of boys and girls.

My brother and I shared a car when I was a senior and I was allowed to drive the family station wagon on occasion. ;)

I usually had to be home within a reasonable time period after an event was over or in general midnight on the weekends and ten on weekdays. Sometimes later depending on why I was out.

We did a lot of just normal high school things; football games, parties, movies, and in the fall toilet papering people’s houses every Friday night.

I think I had a lot of freedom, probably partially because I was the oldest and I wasn’t really a big troublemaker. We did our share of stupid things and also a fair amount of drinking but that was kind of normal then.

How did you meet your spouse? How long did you date before you knew you wanted to get married? Would you be willing to share your proposal story? What was your wedding day like?

I met Curt when we worked together at Country Kitchen. I was a waitress and he was the assistant manager. We used to sit and talk every night after we got done working and we knew a lot about each other before we ever dated. Our good friend Mark worked with us too and he usually joined us in our conversations. We did a lot of goofing around, I remember having big water fights with pickle buckets full of water after the restaurant closed. About six months after we met, we both went to a wedding and that was kind of our first date. I knew from the beginning that he was the person I wanted to spend my life with. We shared and still share the same values, love of family and an enjoyment of life. We didn’t formally date for very long, I was asked casually about getting married during the course of a discussion and then more formally asked in the backseat of a car out in the middle of a farm field.

Our wedding day was informal, surrounded by family and a few close friends. We got married in a catholic church in Maplewood and then drove to my mom and dad’s house in Monticello for a meal and then back to the twin cities to a ballroom for the dance.

What were your hopes/dreams when you started college? Did they change as time went by?

I had a two part college experience. I did two trimesters at Mankato State and then moved north to Brainerd and did a trimester there. Moved on to bartending school and then worked as a waitress, got married and had our first two sons. I went nursing school when Dan and Dave were 2 and 3. I have worked as a nurse since graduating.

I had no real idea about what I wanted to do when I went to school out of high school but after having my two boys, I decided I wanted to be a labor and delivery nurse. I worked in a different area initially to gain experience and then applied and was hired at United hospital in the labor and delivery area. I have always loved the adrenaline and the extremes in life experiences in working so closely with patients at such an important time in their lives.

Did/do you have any heroes/mentors? How did they impact your life? Have you served as a mentor for someone else?

I have been very lucky throughout my life to have had people who were willing to take me under their wings and to encourage me to grow personally and professionally. I count them all as mentors, friends and like close family members. They are the people who give me a lot of straight talk, force me to be responsible for what I think and how I act on those thoughts.

My parents when I was growing up, in showing me how to be a logical thinker and for always striving to try my best. Encouraging my competitive spirit and showing me the importance of family.

My friend Karen who mentored me as a new nurse in labor and delivery and who has been at my side through difficult times for us both. She has always inspired me and has been an important influence.

Our nurse educator Evie Ruggerio who saw me as a kindred spirit and both pushed me and taught me to think outside the box and to be armed with as much knowledge as possible.

My friend Val who has also encouraged me and nutured me in coming into my own as a leader in my piece of the world.

My friends Verlyn and Shawn who have help me explore my spiritual side at work and in my personal life.

My friend Kathy who helped me turn a trip to Saudi Arabia into a very important time of growth in the fall of 2013.

My husband is my hero. He puts his heart and soul into his family and into issues that impact us all. He does is quietly from the sidelines but is actually the driving force in so many things. He is the stable rock who does everything in his power to make sure that our kids and our family are together and enjoying each other as often as possible.

Lastly, my mother in law who was a profoundly important person in my life. She really helped me see that the most powerful person is one who believes in love and family and who revels in daily living.

Mentors and heroes are always there, they just need to be discovered and cherished. I have tried to mentor many people professionally and continue to do so. I love conversations about anything that helps growth and goal setting and have always made myself available for that with anyone that is interested. I think it’s important in life to recognize that there is always someone that is better at something than you are and to be courageous and seek those people out and try to learn from them!

Did you always know you wanted to have children? The number? Did you always know you would love your oldest the best?(Just kidding)

I always knew I wanted to have children and I knew that I wanted to have a big family. I didn’t ever really understand how important it really was or how exhausting it could sometimes be! The oldest best piece of the question was a light hearted remark made to my parents when developing this list of questions. I do love all my boys best in different ways and for different reasons.

What was important to you when raising your children? Life lessons you wanted them to experience? Traditions that you wanted to have in your family?

I wanted them to be happy and to feel safe and valued. I wanted them to experience just normal things about growing up and hoped that they would have lots of friends and stay active.

I wanted some of the same traditions I grew up with but for us to develop our own. I love it that all my boys are close and enjoy spending time together.

Are they or have they been different for your grandchildren than your children?

I would wish the same for my grandchildren.

What has stayed the same about you all your life?

I have always been very competitive both with others and with myself. I have always pushed to be the best at whatever I have tried. I view it as both a negative and a positive trait. It leads to a chronic sense of disappointment when things don’t go the way I hoped they would and it pushes me to find creative, out of the box ways to get things accomplished.

I think I have always been very loyal, I will be anyone who is in my circle’s champion and supporter.

What is important to you now that wasn’t when you were younger?

I am much more conscious about the use of my time. I want to spend as much of my energy interacting with all the kids in my life and my friends and family as possible. I see making memories as the most important thing.

Can you talk about a meaningful gift you received in your life?

Curt bought me a ruby ring when we were early in our marriage that I love and that meant a lot to me because it was a big surprise. He also arranged a mystery vacation for me that was lovely. I have loved everything hand made from my kids that I have ever received. I would also include the gift of time from people who have helped me in times of stress or sadness

What is the best gift you have ever given? (Just something that got a joyful response from the receiver)

I hope it is this one.

What has helped you stay hopeful in difficult times?

The belief that things happen for a reason. It might not be readily apparent or easily understandable but we are made to be resilient and ever changing.

Can you share something that you think is important in achieving happiness?

That there is no secret to being happy. Take joy in daily living and appreciate all the small things. If you decide to be happy, you will be.

What has surprised you about getting older?

How much more patient about things I have become. I am still a focused driven person but I am more able to just in the moment than I was when I was younger.